We receive a ton of messages from folks interested in exploring the swinger lifestyle but feeling unsure about how to bring it up with their partner. It's a common scenario, often with guys reaching out, trying to navigate this conversation without causing any awkwardness.
So, let's dive into it:
Starting Point: What's Your Why?
Before you jump into discussing swinging with your partner, take a moment to understand why you're interested and what you hope to gain from it. If it's because you're not fully satisfied with your current sex life, swinging might not be the right solution. But if you're already having a blast together and just want to add some extra excitement, then you might be onto something.
Timing Is Everything
Timing matters. Avoid bringing up swinging right after a romp in the sheets—that's probably not the best moment. And definitely don't drop it in the middle of the action. Instead, pick a relaxed time when you're both in a chill mood and can have an open conversation without any distractions.
Assess Where You Are Now
Take a step back and assess your current sexual adventures together. If you're already into watching porn, experimenting with sex toys, and openly discussing fantasies, you might be more ready for the swinging convo. But if you're not quite there yet, consider starting with some of those activities to gauge your partner's comfort level.
Having The Talk
When you're ready to broach the subject, keep it casual. Frame the conversation as something you're curious about exploring together, rather than making it all about you. Approach it as a united front, emphasizing that you're in this together and that you value your relationship above all else.
Be Patient and Listen
Give your partner time to process. They might need a few days or weeks to mull it over and come back with questions or concerns. Be prepared to listen and address their feelings with empathy and understanding. Remember, it's not about convincing them—it's about having an open and honest conversation.
Learn Together
Before taking any big steps, take the time to educate yourselves about the swinging lifestyle. Explore resources together, listen to podcasts, read articles, and discuss your thoughts and feelings along the way. Make it a joint project rather than one person leading the charge.
The Bottom Line
Talking about swinging with your partner doesn't have to be a daunting task. Keep it casual, be patient, and prioritize your relationship above all else. And remember, if swinging isn't for you, there are plenty of other ways to keep the spark alive in the bedroom.